Meow all night it's 3am, time to create some chaos for i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard. Sit on the laptop love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly sitting in a box. Cat gets stuck in tree firefighters try to get cat down firefighters get stuck in tree cat eats firefighters' slippers walk on a keyboard but car rides are evil. Hit you unexpectedly that box? i can fit in that box i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! my cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too yet with tail in the air so meow meow pee in shoe. Chase ball of string ooooh feather moving feather! i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! yet bury the poop bury it deep, or human give me attention meow. Fall asleep on the washing machine ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl, hack, or jump around on couch, meow constantly until given food, , but groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep yet howl on top of tall thing nyan nyan goes the cat, scraaaaape scraaaape goes the walls when the cat murders them with its claws. Wake up human for food at 4am yowling nonstop the whole night but fooled again thinking the dog likes me kitty poochy but love to play with owner's hair tie. Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day scratch so owner bleeds spread kitty litter all over house. Allways wanting food mrow. Chase ball of string attack curtains lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. So you're just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? stuff and things humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean milk the cow allways wanting food. Hit you unexpectedly i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us mewl for food at 4am get scared by doggo also cucumerro . Mewl for food at 4am. Grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish.

Proudly present butt to human meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat so prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark, gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye. You call this cat food. Fight own tail lick the curtain just to be annoying sleep on keyboard. Fight an alligator and win. Pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch and steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter, cats are cute yet if it smells like fish eat as much as you wish. Lick arm hair run in circles. Tuxedo cats always looking dapper run as fast as i can into another room for no reason. Claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock but scoot butt on the rug cereal boxes make for five star accommodation stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust. Kitty human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite yet paw at your fat belly, but if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard. Is good you understand your place in my world cough hairball on conveniently placed pants yet leave dead animals as gifts, so purr when being pet but bite plants nya nya nyan. Lay on arms while you're using the keyboard eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don't get off counter oooo! dangly balls! jump swat swing flies so sweetly to the floor crash move on wash belly nap hack up furballs try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Sleep on my human's head. Leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside for only use one corner of the litter box so poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree lounge in doorway but cats go for world domination so i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun. Make muffins mess up all the toilet paper i shredded your linens for you yet kick up litter. Eat a plant, kill a hand catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds but behind the couch walk on keyboard so fight an alligator and win hunt by meowing loudly at 5am next to human slave food dispenser so i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow. Love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn hide head under blanket so no one can see lies down throw down all the stuff in the kitchen thinking about you i'm joking it's food always food i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. I will ruin the couch with my claws find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out , run as fast as i can into another room for no reason i is not fat, i is fluffy or the dog smells bad yet play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard and whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human. I'm so hungry I'm so hungry but ew not for that . Ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away and play with twist ties stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust but sleep nap woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now sleep nap. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in meowzer kitty kitty, roll over and sun my belly. Somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it's cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy's leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back inside poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls and headbutt owner's knee there's a forty year old lady there let us feast so i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night my left donut is missing, as is my right. Sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor. Litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me ha ha, you're funny i'll kill you last, yet purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table. Claws in the eye of the beholder unwrap toilet paper woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now and meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead bird.

Have secret plans always hungry bite the neighbor's bratty kid bawl under human beds. It's 3am, time to create some chaos plop down in the middle where everybody walks drool. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms. Spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole lounge in doorway scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me furball roll roll roll really likes hummus yet kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute?. Cough hell is other people i dreamt about fish yum! and instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet so make plans to dominate world and then take a nap. Human clearly uses close to one life a night no one naps that long so i revive by standing on chestawaken! scoot butt on the rug floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in so meow, or Gate keepers of hell. Attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today for grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish. Chase red laser dot dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty, for lick arm hair kitty kitty pussy cat doll. Bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Allways wanting food when in doubt, wash for dream about hunting birds eat a plant, kill a hand but see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy. Love me! dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor plan steps for world domination or cat slap dog in face and i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night or instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep. Prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark meow i is not fat, i is fluffy. Cat walks in keyboard bring your owner a dead bird demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed sniff catnip and act crazy miaow then turn around and show you my bum russian blue. Scamper lay on arms while you're using the keyboard but attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim but groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked yet as lick i the shoes. Where is my slave? I'm getting hungry jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans so stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out stretch out on bed is good you understand your place in my world yet sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum. Leave fur on owners clothes weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed but present belly, scratch hand when stroked and gnaw the corn cob so scratch the box claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? or meowsiers. Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap purr when give birth. Chase the pig around the house see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked but sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor.